It’s never a good idea to leave a brand new blog for very long. Yet, the last week has been so much like a running-over-toilet, that I just could not take the time. And those wee hours when I had the time, my spirit was flat on it’s back waiting to die. It’s just been a rough week, emotionally, for all of us left behind in the aftermath of our middle daughter running away from home. She justified her doing so, weeks after her act, by sending a slanderous, lie-filled and exaggerated version of her “truth” as she sees it (or, rather, as would best work for her manipulating other people to continue to help/support her). I swear to you, this is not my daughter. Physically, my stomach feels as if I’ve been punched in the stomach…it feels bruised, empty and sore. I’ve dealt with tragic and chaotic issues with our son (like 10 surgeries in years time, the threat of his loosing eye-sight, and all the legal battles necessary to secure him financial aid for his future when he has to deal with ongoing medical stuff, and running interference for him keeping bad relatives from corrupting the situation and him further). But this…this thing with our daughter has literally taken over down to my dreams…even in sleep, I just can’t catch enough time *not* thinking about it. If you are someone who prays and could lift us up, I would so appreciate it. Especially for DH, too, as this is truly taking a toll on him as well – and someone walking around in his line of duty just doesn’t need all this intentional hurt slowing him.
We’ve also lost another stab at a house – and I’m in conversations with DH about getting a different REA…our big mistake there, is we have been using a friend who just has not worked out (and while DH and I disagree to the depth, I believe that our REA has contributed to our not getting the homes we have tried to pursue). So we have that whole delicate thing going on. And, of course, right now any home that we find is going to be held up and scrutinized against “the one” that we just lost. I know, I know, almost every home-buyer has that experience…but in a historic urban district certain homes are vastly superior to what else is out there in both quality, workmanship, style, location and parking. This one had it in spades (darn you Yellow House and your now Pending status with someone else).
I’m continuing to pack our life away…this week it was winter clothing, purses/hats, family photos/albums, and the majority of our file cabinet. We have boxes stacked in the dining room and kitchen….it is amazing how much is packed up, but how not different the remaining rooms look. I’ve long since packed all decor save art on the walls. I figure they are less in our way hanging on walls than they would stacked up somewhere on the floor. We’re leaving the living room as-is right now so that we can have some sense of ‘normalness’ and calm. Earlier, I over hoped/anticipated about the Yellow House and packed away most of the kitchen, counting on disposables and a handful of regular plates/glasses to get us through. Honestly, I thought that I could have had us out of here by June….so now, we’re scrambling with what we have to make use of, cook-wise.
This week I’m not sure what all to do…DH has asked me not to pack our books, thinking we’ll just stack them loose in the car and walk them into our new home ourselves. Easily we have 500 books. And it’s summer. We live in hot-hot South with uber humidity. It’d be cheaper to do it his way, but quicker for me to pack up (which would also encourage me to declutter some of our volumes)….but, like the artwork, they are up and out of the way if they remain on the shelves. But we are at the point that *if* we found a house, we could be out of here in maybe 48 hours as far as “stuff” and cleaning goes. Oh, except for the garage…which has DH’s projects right now (he’s also a painter/artist…and he’s been propositioned by the oldest gallery in town for representation, but it has been requested that a new body of work be provided by X date …. this was offered just before our daughter ran away … and DH is not one of those artist who is ‘inspired’ by the gloom of life…it’s been difficult, and X date is like, within a few days. I can’t interrupt him further to get in there and pack. (And the gallery was so within walking distance of stupid Yellow House, too. LOL, I really do sound like a spurned lover when it comes to that Yellow House, don’t I?)
OK…well, for the most part, all of the above explains my recent MIA status. It’s not lite reading, I know…and I also realize it turned into quite a book. Thank you, if you managed to read through it. Thank you, if you haven’t been deterred from returning again. I’ll be back later today to post something a bit more happy and nostalgic for Flashback Friday.
